When Fear Shows Up

Hello Friends!

If you have received a cancer diagnosis, you know what fearing for your life can feel like. It is not an easy place to be. Fear can take over and bring worry, anxiety, and sometimes outright terror with it. Even when we get it somewhat under control, it often pops back up so frequently that it can feel ever-present, especially in the dark of night when we are alone and simply longing for a good night’s sleep.

And because we know how important sleep is for rest and repair, we may begin to worry about not sleeping. Then we may be tempted, or encouraged, to ask for a prescription sleep aid or anxiety medication. There is nothing wrong with getting a little pharmaceutical help when we need it, and for some people it is necessary and can be very helpful. At the same time, many of us would rather not add one more medication if there are other supportive practices we can try.

So, what to do when fear has moved in and won’t give you a break?

Over the years I have found several things that have helped.

When fear is loud, it can help to stop trying to push it away and instead begin by noticing it with compassion. Naming fear can make it less overwhelming. Instead of “I am terrified,” try, “Fear is here right now.” That small shift creates space between you and the emotion.

From there, we can choose small, steady practices that remind the body and mind that we are not alone and that we do have ways to care for ourselves in this moment.

1. Remind yourself that fear is a natural human emotion that is extremely necessary and useful. You would never want to banish fear completely. You need it to warn you of true danger.

2. Grounding practices can keep you balanced and in the present moment. Daily practices set you up for success and make it easier to remember to use in the moment practices.

3. Reflecting, journaling, and dialoguing with fear (yes, literally having a conversation with fear) can help to make peace with it.

4. Remembering to ask for support, and who you can count on, as well as practices, places, and words that help you feel held and safe can make a difference.

In fact, I created a guide called “When Fear Shows Up” to support you in moments of fear, worry, uncertainty, and overwhelm. It can be useful for anyone navigating a cancer diagnosis, no matter the stage.

Because fear is a friend and it arrives because life matters, it sticks close all the time! It is not “bad” or something to shame ourselves for feeling. It is a signal that we care deeply about staying here, healing, loving, and living.

Simply befriend your fear and let it know what you are doing as the empowered patient you are…or are becoming. Let it know it can go rest until a true danger arises.

To download your copy of my guide, “When Fear Shows Up” just click this link.

If you would like support managing your fear I’ve included resources below that may help. I also cover this topic in my one-to-one coaching. Schedule your Discovery Session today, and please be sure to complete the application right away.

In peace, love and health,

Karla

Inspiration

Fear is proof that something precious is at stake.

Fear may come along for the ride, but it does not get to choose the destination…or the radio station.

~based on an idea from author Elizabeth Gilbert

Resources

Reflection prompts:

1.       When fear shows up, what is it trying to protect? What would I like to say back to it with compassion and confidence?

2.       Is this fear trying to protect me, or intuition trying to guide me?

Create Your Own “fear care plan” - a simple plan for when fear shows up:

• Who can I call?

• What helps my body settle?

• What words remind me I am safe right now?

• What is one next step I can take?

• What can wait until tomorrow?

Just for Fun

Option 1: Give your fear a silly nickname. Maybe it’s “Worry Wanda,” “Alarm-Bell Alice,” or “Drama Llama.” When it shows up, you might say, “Thanks for trying to protect me, Drama Llama, but you don’t get to drive today — and you definitely don’t get to choose the radio station.”

Option 2: Create a “Fear Doesn’t Get to Drive” playlist. Choose a few songs that help you feel steady, strong, peaceful, or just plain happy. Play one when fear gets loud and let your body remember that another feeling is available too.

Hi! I’m Karla Mans Giroux. I’m a stage IV breast cancer thriver (NED since 2016), a national board-certified health and wellness coach (NBC-HWC) since 2019, founder of Health Navigators, my private coaching practice where I focus on guiding women with stage IV cancer.

I'm also the Managing Director of the Radical Remission Project, and co-host of the Stories That Heal podcast.

And, most importantly I'm a mom to two fine young men and one adorable pup named Poppy (find her on Instagram @PoppythePopstarPuppy), oh and I'm "wife" to my wonderful husband of 35 years!

I believe healing is possible!

Karla