My morning began with an early workout session. Geared up with my free weights and headphones on, I was caught by a song, called “A Million Little Miracles.” You know the type of song, one that just resonates with you, and you end up singing it in your head all day. As I listened to this song on repeat over and over again, I felt it permeating deep in my soul. You see, it dawned on me in such a profound way, that my cancer journey had produced a million little miracles in MY life.
At the beginning of my cancer journey, I remember keeping a gratitude journal. I would start each day jotting down all the things in my life that I was grateful for.
I got involved with my church community and deepened my spiritual connection. I felt so loved and embraced by my church community, that I started my own cancer support group. I knew at my very first chemo session, looking around at all the people alone, looking scared and isolated, that I wanted to start my own support group.
I put a lot of thought into this and I knew I wanted my group to be very different from other support groups. I wanted to fill my group with hope, compassion, encouragement, and education! I wanted to teach them skills to cope. I wanted them to feel connected, cared for and loved. I wanted them to know that I understood how they felt, that I, too, had been “through the fire.” I wanted them to know that I emerged as a completely different person on the other side.
My outlook on life had changed, my goals had changed, my relationships had changed…all for the better! My life felt so full, honestly more than it had in many years. I had a friend that was a cancer survivor once tell me,” Lisa, you will come out of this stronger, you will see life through different eyes, you will love harder, feel more deeply, you will gain a sense of purpose and you will appreciate all the little things that we so often take for granted.”
My goal each week was to make sure that each member of the support group walked out feeling better, more hopeful, than when they came. This group quickly became one of my first “million little miracles.” Each person I met, that I had the pleasure of encouraging, was in-turn blessing my life! “How cool was that?” I thought to myself each week.
I found such a sense of purpose by helping others. For the first time in my life, I had a purpose!! Wow, that was huge for me! As I hear this song still playing in my head, “You kept me steady when I wouldn’t give up, you opened doors that nobody could shut”, my group immediately came to mind. You see, this group quickly became family to me. They became family to one another. I now walk in with so much pride, as I gaze at each member and greet newcomers with a hug, a smile, and an encouraging word. As a christian, I thank God for that.
I now can look back and am in awe of the astounding strength that I never knew I had. We all have that inner strength that is accessed by our intense will to not just survive, but thrive!
I honestly credit my son, CJ, for recognizing that in me. His devotion and support through my treatments, his prayers, and honestly just his presence was one of my miracles. We always had a strong bond, but I don’t think he will ever truly know how deeply I appreciated and honestly needed him there. He gave me so many “strong reasons for living.”
CJ blessed me with a beautiful grandson too, who lived with us then. This little angel, only a few years old at the time, instinctively knew every time I needed a hug. His precious smile was the key to unlock my heart every time I felt down, or sick, or weak. His innate ability to show me empathy was apparent in the little things he would do for and with me. To this day he still shows such a kind, compassionate heart for me and others.
Hopefully we can all recognize the million little miracles that have come out of our journey. We can all emerge stronger, more passionate to find purpose and meaning in our lives. Check off those items on your bucket list, spend more time with those that mean the most to you. Look for the “million little miracles” in your own life.
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